Do't you hate it when

You have one of those dreams where you don't stop running and wake up tired . I had one of those dreams last night and the portion I remember is I was braiding one of my students hair and putting beads in it and it took forever , she would not let me finish because she was tender. I asked someone why and they told me it's because she was being raised by her father and he CANT do her hair like a female. The guy was doing a good job but he just didn't know how to do hair. So after school I walked her to the bus stop which is separate from the older kids because she is in peep. I had a discussion with a co-worker /friend about adopting her not full time but as in being like a God parent if he wanted help with the female part of helping a child. When we got to the bus stop I got on to help her get to the back but the is bus driver was just as reckless as a CTA worker but in downtown Kalamazoo. I tried to get off and I told her I didn't need a ride but she continued to go. It only seemed like 2-3 min but she drove me way past where I needed to be and the place where I ended up had changed so much I didn't even recognize where I was. It pissed me off so much that the last thing I remember saying is " Why did that B!tch do that" and woke up.

Day 5

Sorry for the Hiatus. I have been doing good eating well within my calories and enjoying it to the fullest. My body feels much healthier not being attached to sugar or heavy starches. I will weigh myself this weekend to see if hard work has been paying off. Also we got Active 2 for ps3 today and Im amped to combine that with my PX90 workouts I have been doing.

1/6/12

So far here is what I have been doing.

Start Date :1/5/12

1/5/12 - 20 min of Plyometrics

Calories consumed :1376

Calories Burned: 220

1/6/12

Core Synergistics

Today is a lot better than yesterday but I'm still pissed about being reckless with my body. I'm SMH at myself...NEVER AGAIN. Nope can't do it anymore. I told a friend last night my first goal is to break out off 200. Whats sad is I have not weighed myself so I could be close to 220....so if we want to be real thats a total of 70 I need to lose to get to where I want to be and about 40 just to feel comfortable. Going shopping in a few days for better groceries and until I hit my first goal I will be cutting out sweets, breads, pasta , fast food and unhealthy snacks, NO MORE ICE CREAM which is my favorite by the way.

A new day

I have let myself go in terms of being healthy physically and spiritually. For the past 3 years I have been in school equipping myself mentally and in return I gained 30 + lbs back and lost sight of my calling. The one thing I hold dear to me is my purpose. It hasn't left but it's been pushed to the back of the closet and hidden under some boxes. So I figured I would return back to this blog and take it one day at a time. I use to be active, I loved working out, dancing and any other physical activity and lately there has been a absence of that. My plan in September was to work out and drop the weight by Jan. so that I could join the NAVY reserves. Needless to say that plan failed I mean crashed and burned. I am now sitting here today and I might be in fact 5 - 10 lbs heavier and unhealthy. Today I decided enough is enough after taking photos of myself last night and seeing how big I have become. Now 200 lbs to a plus size woman isn't that bad but when you factor in my height and the fact that I have a small frame it's alarming. My frame is curvy but there is no way in HELL I need to be this big. I don't have a goal weight and I don't want to look at the scale, I want to feel different when I put my clothes on and be able to move around better. Last time I was this size I had knee pain well at 25 it's back. I need a partner , someone to hold me accountable so I will try my best to blog my whereabouts on a daily basis. My first milestone is to get past this month doing some sort of workout everyday and cutting out the sugar and fast food. I'm giving myself 2 weeks to cut out EVERYTHING bad for me from my diet and change my daily activities. I honestly just want to complete this month and not worry about the scale as much as breaking OLD habits.